The Real Talk

Food... The Drug That Soothes The Wounds

Due to the pure nature of a human being, there are qualities in life that every person in their right mind look for, regardless if they know it or not. A few of those qualities are to feel wanted, to belong, and to have a mission.  With those pure desires, there are things and people that fulfill, or soothe those, even if it will kill.  This is my issue, this is my addiction, this is the casket maker for me - FOOD!



The Geek With...

I am a computer geek, a father, a husband, a friend, a co-worker.  I have been blessed with decent health, even with my current size, as of starting this blog 494 pounds.  Currently, I am blessed to be able to help people in need as a volunteer with a department in Texas.  I have 2 awesome children, and a beautiful loving wife who helps me anytime I need help. 

My weight has also been a free giver as well.  Due to my size I own fears and thoughts that other average size people do not have to fret so much about.  Can this chair hold me?  Do they have tables in that restaurant?  I own the ability of not fitting in a barber chair.  My weight has given my wife a job too.  She has to put on my socks and shoes, cut my toenails, and help me get up out of bed.  Also, I check every chair after I get out of it to see if I bled on it.  This is a fear, and is why I do not go over to peoples house, even my friends don't know this issue.  I cant use the bathroom except for in certain convenience stores, as they have the large bowl, and plenty of room for me to do acrobats to clean my self.  I have to watch where I walk if on a second floor, as the floor bends and gives under my weight.  I cannot fly unless I purchase more than one seat, and I am an airplane junky :)  !!!!  Weight has a funny way to make you look at things!



...Everything To Lose

First off, I want to lose the weight!  I am aiming for a goal of 250 pounds.  That is half my size currently.  My family needs me.  If I dont get this taken care of, I will lose my wife, my job, my family, my co-workers, my income, and my sanity.  I will lose the ability to walk, and function period.

Losing things is not always bad!  Doing this program, and losing this weight, will cause me to lose a lot of things, besides the weight.  This is NOT bad!  I will lose the inhibitions of going to a friends house.  I will lose these blood filled pockets on the back of my legs.  I will lose the inhibitions of going anywhere and worrying about what kind of tables, how is their bathroom, is there enough room for me to walk the aisle between the racks, etc.  I will lose the fear of a heart attack at any moment.  I will lose the fear of breaking things by accident.  I will lose inability to function normally as a father, a husband, a friend, an employee, and a co-worker.  I will lose the inability to go sky diving, or ride in a helicopter, or fly in a small plane.  I will lose the inability to go to theme parks, and ride rides, and have a place to sit.  I will lose the glaring looks, and comments about my weight (though I dont get them said to my face any more),  I will lose the fear of breaking my lawn mower seat.

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